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callmetippytumbles · 6 years ago

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Top Five Put A Ring On It, Lady Edition: Hana, Sloane, Kamilah, Lily, I feel like I should put a lady from Lovestruck but IDK who you follow? If you do put her in. If not: Leah.

You thought my list for da mens is rude, this is egregious @grapecaseschoices . Making me choose between all of these ladies. How dare you?

With that said you asked me to play and not to bitch so…

First up:

Sloane and Lily: I can’t choose between them and I REFUSE TO LET YOU TEAR ME UP LIKE THIS GRAPECASE! But yeah, I choose both of them. Sloane is like NASA smart, lowkey-but-actually-highkey badass, beyond adorable and you just want to take care of her. Plus Sloane’s mama is everything. She will help us choose a sperm donor for our baby, I would get cute stories about Sloane…it’s all good.

Lily is also prime bae material. She is one of the most attractive female LIs in the game. She is a vampire now so she can fuck shit up now with her super strength. Lily could strap up for you every now and then. (Love Sloane but I know she won’t. It’s cool.) Plus her libido will keep lesbian bed death far away from us.

Having the both of them be wifeys is like the best of the best. They are both cool with poly so they do not mind sharing you. They are both gamers so the video game nights would be epic. Sloane would make Lily and I act right and Lily will get Sloane and me out of the house. When I eventually have a baby, that child will have 3 black mamas, can you say #winning? Lily can handle late night feedings once the baby is weaned so I can sleep because she is nocturnal.

Hana: I would say that Hana deserves so much better and she does, but I also feel like this argument is used to negate her sexuality and her agency over her choice of romantic partners so I will try not to do that. The other reason why Hana isn’t ranked higher is her parents are INSANE. They run their family like a destructive cult. And I do not want to go to jail for attempting to stab her mama.

Leah: I would rank her so much higher but her selling point is also her downfall, Andi. She is too much like me and there can only be one me in my house. It’s a safety precaution. Also, her ex is insane.

Kamilah: She has been on earth for two millennia. Dos. That is two millennia of not wanting to deal with my ratchet fuckshit. She is not going to want to listen to Jade and XD recap Love After Lockup with me. So bottom of the list.

Thank you for both of your asks @grapecaseschoices

#ask tippy #top 5 ask #there is your essay #not surprised though #there is never much to say about niggas

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